Day 7
Mood is somber
Monday, November 28, 2011
lies and rumors
Sooo today is day 6
My mood is....well I can't explain it.....
I had a date with my wife last night and it went well....oh, before I forget...yesterdays blog was NOT written by me...I asked my wife to write it and that's the best she could do...(yeah fucking right)! She text more stuff on her phone and talk to her friends longer than that. Guess she didn have time for me, what else new....she always on her phone and carrying it around with her. It's funny how she describes herself...lol I mean really? I would never describe her in that context lol.....
Today we went over my mommys for a visit..oh what a nice time I had. Although I think my mom was off her anti depressants lol. Mom said I should have married a man...she says she is ok with my sexuality but then she say things like that....idk.
Well I'm gonna keep it short because tomorrow is the start of the work week....
Kiss (keep it simple stupid)
My mood is....well I can't explain it.....
I had a date with my wife last night and it went well....oh, before I forget...yesterdays blog was NOT written by me...I asked my wife to write it and that's the best she could do...(yeah fucking right)! She text more stuff on her phone and talk to her friends longer than that. Guess she didn have time for me, what else new....she always on her phone and carrying it around with her. It's funny how she describes herself...lol I mean really? I would never describe her in that context lol.....
Today we went over my mommys for a visit..oh what a nice time I had. Although I think my mom was off her anti depressants lol. Mom said I should have married a man...she says she is ok with my sexuality but then she say things like that....idk.
Well I'm gonna keep it short because tomorrow is the start of the work week....
Kiss (keep it simple stupid)
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Edged in stone
Day 5
Mood: happy go lucky
Today I missed my mommy again.... I was just sitting here thinking its time to break her free from her jail cell block 9 mile lol
So my son and I went to go take her to lunch. Never a dole moment with my mommy.
We went to Southside bar and grill... The food was good but if you ask me to go again it may be number 5 on my top 8
After lunch I chucked up the decues to mama dearest and my son, to prepare for my date with the beautiful Mrs. Davis.
Date night was approaching and I begin to get butterflies in my stomach.. that woman sure know how to make my heart
Beat.... *I hear the door opening* I got to go bloggers time for my date...... TO BE COnTINUED.....
Mood: happy go lucky
Today I missed my mommy again.... I was just sitting here thinking its time to break her free from her jail cell block 9 mile lol
So my son and I went to go take her to lunch. Never a dole moment with my mommy.
We went to Southside bar and grill... The food was good but if you ask me to go again it may be number 5 on my top 8
After lunch I chucked up the decues to mama dearest and my son, to prepare for my date with the beautiful Mrs. Davis.
Date night was approaching and I begin to get butterflies in my stomach.. that woman sure know how to make my heart
Beat.... *I hear the door opening* I got to go bloggers time for my date...... TO BE COnTINUED.....
Saturday, November 26, 2011
lost in translation....
Day 4
Yet another late night, early morning blog.....
Mood is optimistic
Today is black friday, the craziest shopping day ever! It's so crazy that I didn venture out and besides that....crowds scare me lol.
However I did do a little online shopping for my son (i know he will live his gifts). I had an emotional day today, don't know why but I do know that it drove me and my wife to argue....its like she don't know when to give me my space.... Don't get me wrong, I love the attention she gives me BUT I'm a very moody girl lol and if your constantly asking me "whats wrong" well...we r gonna have an issue. I picked at her and brought her down to my level only to "step on her" as a way to bring me up and make me feel superior. I later apologized but seriously, how many times do a person want to hear "ill sorry". I swear I have either emotional issues or split personalities...lol....not the crazy type but the type that changes when the wind blows in a different direction......
I love my wife very much and don't want to push her away nor hurt her. I tell her all the time to NEVER let anyone hurt you...including me! She tells me that I could never hurt her nor that I would hurt her., but she couldn't be more wrong! I've been hurt by many and I have hurt many. I am the perfect and wrong person that someone would ever want to mess with. Just evil....
I talked to my mommy today...she sounded happy, which is a good thing. I've been meaning to go see her since I've been off but hey what better time than tomorrow (saturday).
Tonights dinner menu is hungry upside and beer...lol pizza and beer yummy ;)
Say what you mean, and mean what you say
Yet another late night, early morning blog.....
Mood is optimistic
Today is black friday, the craziest shopping day ever! It's so crazy that I didn venture out and besides that....crowds scare me lol.
However I did do a little online shopping for my son (i know he will live his gifts). I had an emotional day today, don't know why but I do know that it drove me and my wife to argue....its like she don't know when to give me my space.... Don't get me wrong, I love the attention she gives me BUT I'm a very moody girl lol and if your constantly asking me "whats wrong" well...we r gonna have an issue. I picked at her and brought her down to my level only to "step on her" as a way to bring me up and make me feel superior. I later apologized but seriously, how many times do a person want to hear "ill sorry". I swear I have either emotional issues or split personalities...lol....not the crazy type but the type that changes when the wind blows in a different direction......
I love my wife very much and don't want to push her away nor hurt her. I tell her all the time to NEVER let anyone hurt you...including me! She tells me that I could never hurt her nor that I would hurt her., but she couldn't be more wrong! I've been hurt by many and I have hurt many. I am the perfect and wrong person that someone would ever want to mess with. Just evil....
I talked to my mommy today...she sounded happy, which is a good thing. I've been meaning to go see her since I've been off but hey what better time than tomorrow (saturday).
Tonights dinner menu is hungry upside and beer...lol pizza and beer yummy ;)
Say what you mean, and mean what you say
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Being thankful.....
Today is day 3 which also happens to be Thanksgiving....
I woke up with a major stomach and headache, no doubt it was caused by my excessive drinking last night.
I was up all night preparing our meal... Let's see....I made: collard greens, baked summer beans, Turkey, dressing, Mac n cheese, sweet potatoes, and rolls. I really out did myself this year, I mean I was suppose to be cooking for 5 but it quickly turned into 3. I always get bummed out around the holidays...family is soooooo important to me and with every passing season it feels like we are growing farther and farther apart. I invited everyone to come over and even said I'd buy and prepare all the meals, yet no one showed...my wife told me not to get my hopes up too high but of course I did. After all these are the same people who I invited to my 30th birthday party and didn show up. I have since then cried my last cry for my family, now I just distance myself and when they miss me....well let's just say that my number hasn't changed in years.....
I am thankful for many things but the thing that I am most thankful for is the gift of life. Even though I tried to take my own life as a teenager, I am forever thankful that I didn suceed! I now know that I have a purpose for being here. Somedays are better than others but non the less everyday is a blessing. I have grown mentally, spiritually, and physically (lol).
As ny Thanksgiving went on I eventually got over the disappointments and made do with what I have...which are a beautiful wife and a handsome child :) I'm off work the next couple of days and plan on spending lots of time with my loves.....speaking of loves, its just about bed time and I have a long day ahead of me.
If you don't believe in yourself...no one else will.
I woke up with a major stomach and headache, no doubt it was caused by my excessive drinking last night.
I was up all night preparing our meal... Let's see....I made: collard greens, baked summer beans, Turkey, dressing, Mac n cheese, sweet potatoes, and rolls. I really out did myself this year, I mean I was suppose to be cooking for 5 but it quickly turned into 3. I always get bummed out around the holidays...family is soooooo important to me and with every passing season it feels like we are growing farther and farther apart. I invited everyone to come over and even said I'd buy and prepare all the meals, yet no one showed...my wife told me not to get my hopes up too high but of course I did. After all these are the same people who I invited to my 30th birthday party and didn show up. I have since then cried my last cry for my family, now I just distance myself and when they miss me....well let's just say that my number hasn't changed in years.....
I am thankful for many things but the thing that I am most thankful for is the gift of life. Even though I tried to take my own life as a teenager, I am forever thankful that I didn suceed! I now know that I have a purpose for being here. Somedays are better than others but non the less everyday is a blessing. I have grown mentally, spiritually, and physically (lol).
As ny Thanksgiving went on I eventually got over the disappointments and made do with what I have...which are a beautiful wife and a handsome child :) I'm off work the next couple of days and plan on spending lots of time with my loves.....speaking of loves, its just about bed time and I have a long day ahead of me.
If you don't believe in yourself...no one else will.
Happy time.....
Well I'm a lil behind but you know what they say "better late than never".
This is day 2 of my journey.....
I woke up tired and cranky...these early mornings are tiresome, but I definitely would rather work day shift over afternoons.
We had our potluck at work...I brought homemade baked Mac n cheese. Some others brought egg rolls, salad, spaghetti, potato salad, stuffing, ham, chicken, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, pop, and some other stuff that I didn want to try because of how it looked...lol. We really did have an awesome time...I wish we could do it more often and not just around the holidays. The bosses were nice enough to give us a hour lunch opposed to our half hour lunch. I smiled once my body woke up.....lol...I mean I smiled allllll day. I had an awesome day. I'm so happy to get these 4 days off work, But id be lying if I say I won't miss my co workers. Somehow, someway we are a lil dysfunctional family...hell I spend more time out my day with them then I do with my wife and son. I wish them all a very happy Thanksgiving...
I'm looking forward to exploring myself....and breaking through the barriers that I've placed around me. I told myself that I placed them there to keep harmful people and things away from me but maybe, just maybe they were placed there to keep me in.....
Well....Im going to continue this happy feeling and finish preparing our Thanksgiving meal while doing some drinking...lol hey I only drink maybe 5 times out the year sooooooo why not...lol plus I'm doing it safely in my home. Ohhhhh.... I almost forgot that I saw my friend Victoria but I call her Lady....lol. Do you know that I drove from Roseville allow the way to Pontiac for a sweet potatoe pie. Did I mention it was during holiday rush hour traffic.....but it aS so worth it! She tells me that her pies are bomb and the best around...mmmmm we shall see tomorrow. I've known her for about 3 years....I love talking to her, she's so positive and to only be 21 she is doing the dam thing :) but before I get off subject.....do u know that today was the first time we saw each other...really...I don't know why but things happen for unknown reasons.....
Well I really need to get back to cooking and drinking. Lol......
This is day 2 of my journey.....
I woke up tired and cranky...these early mornings are tiresome, but I definitely would rather work day shift over afternoons.
We had our potluck at work...I brought homemade baked Mac n cheese. Some others brought egg rolls, salad, spaghetti, potato salad, stuffing, ham, chicken, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, pop, and some other stuff that I didn want to try because of how it looked...lol. We really did have an awesome time...I wish we could do it more often and not just around the holidays. The bosses were nice enough to give us a hour lunch opposed to our half hour lunch. I smiled once my body woke up.....lol...I mean I smiled allllll day. I had an awesome day. I'm so happy to get these 4 days off work, But id be lying if I say I won't miss my co workers. Somehow, someway we are a lil dysfunctional family...hell I spend more time out my day with them then I do with my wife and son. I wish them all a very happy Thanksgiving...
I'm looking forward to exploring myself....and breaking through the barriers that I've placed around me. I told myself that I placed them there to keep harmful people and things away from me but maybe, just maybe they were placed there to keep me in.....
Well....Im going to continue this happy feeling and finish preparing our Thanksgiving meal while doing some drinking...lol hey I only drink maybe 5 times out the year sooooooo why not...lol plus I'm doing it safely in my home. Ohhhhh.... I almost forgot that I saw my friend Victoria but I call her Lady....lol. Do you know that I drove from Roseville allow the way to Pontiac for a sweet potatoe pie. Did I mention it was during holiday rush hour traffic.....but it aS so worth it! She tells me that her pies are bomb and the best around...mmmmm we shall see tomorrow. I've known her for about 3 years....I love talking to her, she's so positive and to only be 21 she is doing the dam thing :) but before I get off subject.....do u know that today was the first time we saw each other...really...I don't know why but things happen for unknown reasons.....
Well I really need to get back to cooking and drinking. Lol......
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